Where to start? It all comes down to three things: sleep, swaddling, and milk. I guess it arguably has to do with Momma being a softie and not doing a good enough job of enforcing the weaning of nighttime milk and swaddling as well. After all, you can't really blame a baby, right? They only know what they're taught.
The week before Lincoln's 4 month check-up (shots...I'm going to go ahead and blame those, mmmk?) he started sleeping through the night. I remember the first night. It scared me. Lincoln has been a noisy sleeper from the day he got home. Not that he cried...he just always squeaked and breathed loudly. So I had become accustomed to hearing signs of life any time I woke up in the middle of the night. I didn't find it annoying, but rather reassuring. After the first night of worry and fear, I was ecstatic! Sleeping through the night. Sweet! I had JUST learned I was pregnant around that time, too, so it was perfect timing. I was more tired than ever and feeling that much more successful. A step in the right direction, if you will. Happiness.
After his shots he started waking up once a night, around 3 or 4am. I was aware of something called the "4 month sleep regression," so I looked more into it. It was a growth spurt time and completely normal for him to be waking up again. Most places said it lasted one month on average. There are always the exceptions, though. Evidently, Lincoln is the exception. He then started waking up twice a night.
Though Lincoln had been rolling over, he hadn't rolled over in his crib yet or while swaddled, so I procrastinated weaning him from the swaddle [regret #1]. Naturally he started rolling over while swaddled [or after breaking out one or both arms], which woke him up. As I mentioned in my letter Friday, I've always rocked Lincoln to sleep [regret #2]. I knew I should let him learn how to fall asleep on his own, and really he used to. I selfishly just really enjoyed watching him fall asleep in my arms, though. So after months of being rocked to sleep, he couldn't self soothe himself when he woke up in the middle of the night.
Also, in true [insert my Mom's maiden name] fashion, he is unable to calm down to fall asleep even if I'm holding and/or rocking him without FOOD. At first I thought "no big deal [regret #3], it's just a regression time; this will all work itself out and in the meantime I'll just give him the milk to help him."
As you've noticed from my "So What Wednesday" posts, I still haven't worked up the nerve to wean him from his swaddle. Our system is to go to bed swaddled and when he wakes up for the first time he gets unswaddled. The problem is once he is unswaddled he wakes up every 2-3 hours. I can only assume the two are related: being unswaddled and waking up constantly.
Fast forward to last night for a perfect example.
7pm: Goes to bed swaddled.
1:30am: Wakes up [one arm broken free] on tummy angry. I pick him up, bounce him lightly while shhhh-ing him. He just cried harder. I sit in rocking chair to give him his 4oz bottle [this is the point where I unswaddle him]. After about 3oz I take it away and burp him. After fussing and burping he calms and falls asleep on my shoulder. I put him in crib, he squirms, but falls asleep in a minute.
2am: Wakes up on stomach angry. I roll him over, put my hand on his chest and try shhh-ing him. No luck. I pick him up as before and after several minutes of crying gives in.
4am: Wakes up on stomach angry. I may or may not tell him "Well stop rolling over! Duh!" [Side note: he knows how to roll BACK over and has the room...just refuses.] I can't calm him down so he takes 1oz of milk and after fighting it, goes down.
4:30am: Wakes up on stomach angry. [Have you noticed a pattern?] At this point I blindly shove a pacifier in his mouth [no lights on] hoping it'll satisfy his need to suck. He's never liked pacifiers and that has made me very happy. I don't want him to have that addiction [just another thing to wean him from and you see how awesome I am at weaning...]. After about 3 sucks he's unimpressed and starts crying. Half relieved, half frustrated [ok, at this point the frustrated partway winning; more than half] I resign to giving him milk. After all, I can't wean him for. The swaddle AND milk at the same time. Right?
5am: Wakes up on stomach angry. You get the point....
5:30am: Repeat.
6:30am: Cooing in bed...happy and ready to greet the day!
Ok, so last night was worse than our usual. Our usual is twice a night [1 and 4]. You can imagine what kind of mood I was in by the end of it.
So where does that leave us? Well, I don't know. I'm turning to you in hopes that fellow Momma's have answers! I think I need to bite the bullet and put him to bed unswaddled. I keep putting it off, though, because I'm afraid he'll just wake up every 2-3 hours the whole flippin' night. I couldn't do it tonight. Momma needs to catch up on some sleep - which honest is probably going to happen as soon as I publish this.
So I'm at your mercy. Tips? Advice? Words of encouragement?
He's such a good boy. This is not me complaining, because I couldn't ask for better. I just need answers! I'm at my wit's end. Help a Momma out!
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4 comments:
He has you trained well. ..now you need to train him.. If you know he is full and dry.. let him fuss. It may take awhile but he will get used to sleep all night.
I have a completely different problem. Calliope had this really awful cold/flu thing when she was around 3 or 4 months old and I may have let her fall asleep in bed with me and she hasn't slept in her crib since... Neither Jason nor I have a problem with it, it's just as some point she'll have to sleep in her own bed and I have no idea how we'll do it.
So, at least he sleeps in his own bed, haha. :)
Its def the cold turkey, make you want to cry from guilt, ignoring time. Like she said above, if you know he's full and dry let him go. I never could do it with owen and paid for it for two full years. Cole I cut him off, ignored it and in a week I got to sleep through the night. Mine were 17 months apart and save yourself the hassle of dealing with two waking up at once. :( yours will be even closer so the less hassles the better.
I had to let Kyle start crying it out too. We still have our nights and I have made myself to not give him a bottle the first time because I know he shouldnt need it. The one between 3-5 I would sometimes make him an ounce just because that's all he wanted before falling asleep. It's hard to hear him cry, however like you, I enjoy my sleep and for a little while now he's been sleeping awesome from 8-6. Good luck!! :)
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