20//Struggles

"Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now."
Alright...I wasn't going to post because it's been a long day and, well, I just didn't feel like it. Alas, here I am, though. I'm not "getting real," though. I'm being honest, but not bottom of my heart, keeping me up at night, kind of struggles.
I am struggling with cooking/baking/feeding myself and husband.
It's just not happening.
I'm slightly ashamed of how much take-out we've been eating lately...and it's 110% my fault.
The funny thing is...as horrible as I'm eating...I've only gained 5 pounds this pregnancy thus far [1/2 way through]. It's that stupid rationale that keeps me going continuing to eat stupid.
I haven't grocery shopped [besides staples like bread and milk, basically] since April 30th. That pains me to type. I have no idea how my poor husband is even still alive.
Every day I swear I'm going to sit down at the computer, fire up Pinterest, make a meal plan and massive grocery list [which is going to kill my bank account if when I finally hit the store]! It just hasn't happened. How horrible is that?! 
Tomorrow. [How many times have I said that this month? Roughly 20...]
Tips? How do I get my ambition back? I'm not sure if I can blame it on pregnancy or Lincoln. It's just plain laziness on my part...plain and simple.
Help a pregnant Momma out!!
******************************************
It's hard to feel too bad about any struggles right now, though because this afternoon we found out the gender of baby #2!
Pictures to come!

19//Sharin' the Love!

Sorry, not sorry that I missed yesterday. It has nothing to do with the prompt, I even had a [lame] story in mind. Don't worry, you didn't miss anything. It was just a beautiful day outside and the carnival was in town... Momma needed a funnel cake and some family time! It was a great day and I just couldn't pull myself away to blog.
Today's prompt, though is... "Five of your favorite blogs and what you love about them. " *in no order*
1//Courtney - I've been following her a while and she and her family are adorable. They have a new little girl, Mia, who is just precious. 2//Raven - Girl tells it like it is! 3//Becky - I raved about her earlier this month when we were supposed to talk about our favorite blog. She's...amazing all the way around! 4//Sara - I think I found her through Julie's Breastfeeding Diaries [amazing]. You have to check out Sara's New Mommy Confessions [hilarious and soooo true]!! 5//Christina - I found her through this Blog Every Day in May link-up and am so glad I did! Go check her and Declan out! You won't be sorry!!

17//A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

This is the first picture taken with the love of my life. That should be explanation enough!  

16//Lot In Life

    "Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it."   This is a hard prompt for me today. I don't really have anything that's a true trouble to me right now. Sure, I have complaints. Sure, I'm not always happy. Honestly, I probably complain way more than I have the right to.   We're about to get real now. What do I complain about the most? Our living situation. Wanting to be a SAHM. Those are the big two.   Now let's be rational, Jenna. We have a roof over our head. Wes, Lincoln, & I have clothes on our back. I am lucky enough to have a job...in an economy where that isn't the case for many.   I try to remind myself to focus on the good [which is plentiful] and to enjoy the here and now. Enjoy the time I get with my thriving baby boy. I do a pretty good job, I think, while I'm with my boy.   It's when I'm not, that I sometimes let myself dwell on what I wish was. When I'm at work. After he goes to bed. I wish my husband was able to find that job of his dreams he's been looking for. I wish I could stay home with our [soon to be] two babies. I wish we lived in an area that had more to offer. I wish we had a newer more efficient home.   I wish, I wish, I wish...   What do I have, though? I have a beautiful growing baby who throws the preemie title in the doctor's face by continuing to jump up on the graphs at the well child appointments. I have a loving husband who takes the best care of our little boy while I'm at work. I have a husband who would do anything for me. I have a vehicle to get us from Point A to Point B safely. I have the means to put gas [$3.79!!!!] in the tank... ...food on the table [though I'm lately too lazy to prepare much]... ...clothes on our back... ...electricity in our home. I have a good stroller to take Lincoln on walks, which he loves. I have a warm and safe bed to retire to each night. I have family near [ranging from 1-20 miles away].   I savor the moments with Lincoln while he's this small. It's easy to focus on what he should be doing, what he needs to work on, what I should be doing more or better.     Instead,  ..I make sure I appreciate the sleeping baby in my arms when he finally stops groaning at bedtime. ...I take the time to make him laugh as much as possible. ...I tell him how proud I am of his progress and how big/good of a boy he is. ...I give him hugs and kisses, tell him I love him, and to be good for Daddy every time I leave the house.   It's easy to worry about how much life is going to change in 5 months. Instead, I cherish every moment with Lincoln before my attention has to be split.   What do I have?   Everything.

15//A Day In The Life

" A Day in the life (include photos from throughout your typical day - this could be "a photo an hour" if you'd like)"
If I would have been real cool organized, I would have taken the pictures yesterday to document my day so that I could have posted this before 8pm. Oops.
My alarm was set for 6:45am, but it rarely goes off, because Lincoln is awake before then.
5:50am...After letting him fuss for a few minutes, I give up and go in Lincoln's room. I turn his lamp on and give him his monkey blanket/toy. That entertains him while I go take a shower. After getting dress I come check on him. This picture has both my babies. Awww!  
This is where my shoes sat most of the day. I have wide feet, so squeezing them into these was rather painful. I have since put a text into my niece that she can have them. Not worth the pain. [How old am I that my niece can fit in my shoes...?!]

11:30am...I stayed in for lunch today since I had to leave early for Lincoln's 6 month well child appointment. As I was warming up my Healthy Choice Four Cheese Marinara Ziti, I realized that I, of course, was wearing a white shirt. Ugh! I have exactly 2 white shirts to my name because I am so paranoid that I am going to stain them. So, I grabbed a paper towel and tucked it into the neckline of my shirt. Problem solved. I made it through lunch spill free! [...until I picked Lincoln up to comfort him after his shots and the blood from the pokes got on my shirt. Doh!]
Lincoln is all dressed up and happy...little does he know where he's going...
Such a happy baby! Heading into the doctor's office!


























[Left] Waiting for the nurse to come in to give him the shots. Still oblivious to the pain coming. [Right] After the shots. He cried as they happened and for the first 30 seconds I was holding him, and then was good to go. He's such a trooper.
6pm...Silly shots can't get Lincoln down!! We gave him a dose of Tylenol just to be safe; he took it so well! Putting him to bed was a little more challenging than usual.  Shots + Teething [she spotted 4 teeth he's working on] = Bad Mood Bear! I'm not going to lie. After about 10 minutes of him crying while I tried rocking him and walking/bouncing him around his room, I laid him in his crib, walked out, and shut the door. He was so tired and just wouldn't give in. I changed out of my work clothes and then went back in, refreshed, to give it another go. We sat back in the rocker and he was still crying. After holding him tight for a minute his cries became more spread out and then he gave in. His face was so peaceful and his hands were clasped together under his chin. It was a precious look and moment and looking at him made up for the grump he had been for the 15 minutes prior. He's a trooper.
6 month well child stats: Height: 28.5" (97.32%) Weight: 18lb 8oz (60.76%) Head Circumference: 17.24" (54.89%)
These numbers are compared to a term baby, too. Not even preemie stats. Preemie, my ass. He's a growing thriving boy!!

14//Happiness

"Ten things that make you really happy"
1. Waking up to this happy baby boy!
2. Watching this monkey roll from one end of the living room to the other...in record-breaking time, might I add.
3. Sweets. Food, really.
4. Going on walks.
5. Bargain shopping.
6. Baking. Not cleaning up the mess, though. More specifically: eating what I bake. Better yet: eating what others bake!
7. My husband. This is our first picture together...4.5 years ago. Time flies when you're in love!
8. Clementines.
9. This dog. Princess. Such a pretty dog.
10. Monkeys.
These are in no particular order, and truth be told, I just went through my Mobile Uploads on Facebook. :)

13//Sorry, Not Sorry

   

Sorry, not sorry...You're going to see this picture again on this week's Photo Dump Friday.

  I'm not going to be serious today with an apology. Instead, I'm doing a "sorry, not sorry" apology.   I'm [not] sorry my Facebook and Instagram flood your news feed with pictures of my adorable son.   I'm [not] sorry that it's only going in get worse once there's two of them.   I'm [not] sorry that my blog posts always talk about Lincoln.   I'm [not] sorry that my life revolves around this happy little boy.   I'm [not] sorry I ate [a little more than] half of a cheesecake yesterday. It was Mother's Day, damnit.     What are you [not] sorry for today?

12//Responsibility

Happy Mother's Day to all the Momma's out there!

"What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...)"
I've entered a new chapter of my life lately. The wife chapter in 2011 and then the Momma chapter last November. They're the best chapters of my life, I feel. Right now I'm loving spending time with my husband baby. I'm soaking up these last 5 months as a family of 3. I'm enjoying the ease of simplicity our life seems to have while Lincoln isn't crawling [quite] yet or talking back [it's hard to think my sweet little angel will talk back, but he is my child, after all, so it's inevitable]. This time where sleep is normal good decent. Where we have such a good baby. Before karma plays a mean trick on us. [Lincoln is so perfect so I can only assume it'll be evened out with baby #2, right...?]
That being said, it's hard to think about or dwell on things, people, or places I miss. How can I miss a time in my life where my husband and babies weren't in it?
I guess if I have to choose something I miss, it's not a something at all. I suppose it could be defined as a time in my life, but I think of it rather as a ... well, I don't know, to tell you the truth.
I guess what I miss is not having the responsibility of bills and finances. Growing up I was spoiled [ok, truth be told, I still am]. I didn't have a job until I quit college [my first go around at college] at age 20. My parents bought me a car [definitely not new, so don't think I'm one of those kind of spoiled girls], they gave me gas money when I needed it, they gave me money to go to the movies or hang out with friends. I probably wasn't as appreciative then as I should have been. Being a teenager and all.
I love working with numbers. That's why I finally decided to get my accounting degree. Since I love working with numbers, I don't mind the structure of bills and finance. I keep a check register, I write every penny spent down, and I pay all of my bills on time. 
I miss not having the responsibility, though. Better yet, the worry. Money makes the world go 'round. Like it or not, we can't really live without it. Not a life anything close to what we're accustomed to, anyway. 
I'd like to work out a budget. Yes, I account for all of the money spent and balance my checkbook. No, I don't give myself "limits". Kelsey and Eric at Words of Williams do a great job talking about their budget. How they establish it, maintain it, and sit down each year to plan and revise as necessary. Hopefully one day I'll get to that point. 
How do you do it? How do you manage the responsibilities of...well, being an adult?

11//Buy Me!

"Sell yourself in 10 words or less"
This is not an easy post for me. I'm not good at complimenting myself, accepting compliments, or anything of the like. So selling myself? Not a cinch. Honestly, I didn't put a lot of thought into it, but I found 9 words that sum up what I'm about at this point in my life...and probably for the rest of my life.
I would do anything for my husband and kids.

10//Be My Friend...?

When I initially read through the month's list of topics, this one gave me the heebie jeebies. This is a horrible topic. Who actually LIKES this topic?

Day 10: Most embarrassing moment(s). Spill.

The odd thing is that the first moment that comes to my mind, the moment that always comes to my mind when thinking of this topic, is a moment I don't even fully remember. How can this moment, this moment I don't even really remember, always come to the forefront of my mind when asked about embarrassing moments? Is 5th grade a young enough age that I was truly able to block out this "traumatizing" experience?

Now that I have built up the suspense I'm sure you all are on pins and needles waiting to hear what was so horrible in 5th grade, right? The truth? Nothing too unusual. My hometown suffered a bad flood in 1993. After which, my family moved...about 15 miles away. It doesn't seem far, still doesn't. As an elementary student, though, it was a big deal. It meant I had to change schools.
I never was, and still a, not, the "cool kid". Moving shouldn't have been a big deal, it could have been viewed as an orotundity to start fresh. Instead I was terrified. I sat in the classroom so quietly and scared. I cried. That's pretty embarrassing in and of itself. A kind classmate of mine saw this fear of mine, though, and came to comfort me. Came to offer me her friendship. Even though I don't really remember that day, I'll always be grateful.

Here's where the embarrassment gets kicked up a notch. Years later, said friend informs me that the principal TOLD her to be my friend. How pathetic is that?! How pathetic was I that the principal had to force friends on me?!

Next year will be my 10 year class reunion (What?!) and said classmate is still a great friend to me. She has moved away from home and made a great life for herself. We don't see each other much, but when we do it feels like no time has passed at all. I love that. I love her. Just as much as I did the day she rescued me in 5th grade!

9//[Best] Moment in My Day

     

   

8//Advice to the Preggos

" A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all." I couldn't tell you how many blogs and different articles I read online while I was pregnant with Lincoln. So many of the 70 blogs I now follow were added to the list during this time...which means they're mostly all new Momma blogs. I started following women around my age that were pregnant or had just had their babes to read about their experiences. Read about their advice. I read more birth stories than I could count. I knew every birth experience was different, but I figured the more I read, the more of an idea I would have. If I read enough, one of them would end up being pretty close to what I would end up experiencing. Right? Wrong. I had a birth plan written up even, something I never thought I'd do. I had always thought I'd just go into the hospital, do as they said, have my baby, and do as they said. End of story. The more I read, the more I watched [documentaries on Netflix], the more I changed my mind. I didn't want to go as drastic as a home birth and I was still a little too skeptical to go the midwife route [mostly, I think, because I had already established a team of doctors in the hospital]. I did, however, have some things I needed the doctors and nurses to know. ...I didn't want induced. ...I didn't want an epidural. ...I wanted to nurse ASAP. ...I didn't want Lincoln taken out of my room. Ever. I wanted him to be weighed, bathed, everything...right there. ...I wanted to have a natural birth, with the option to change my mind. ...I did not want anyone, anyone, to ask me at any time if I wanted an epidural. During pregnancy I was signed up for a handful of newsletters. Some came daily and some came weekly. The weekly ones always told me what Lincoln was doing and how big he was. Then there were the emails in between. The advice. I received a wide variety of topics. I browsed if not read through them all. I even got an email about c-sections.  "Eh, I don't need to read into that. Everything's going fine and we're getting towards the end."
Ha.  I even read a blog giving the exact same advice I'm about to give to you. Except I didn't listen. If you're a pregnant woman or a woman who anticipates becoming pregnant any time soon...do me a favor. Do as I say, not as I do. Don't ignore my advice. Don't be ignorant. Advice: Learn about c-sections
I had read a blog, even received an email, stating that everyone should learn about c-sections to prepare themselves for the possibility. Even if everything was perfect in your pregnancy, they recommended doing your research about c-sections. You never know, they said. They're right. You never know. On my way to the ER November 1st, never in a million years did I expect to be having a baby at that same hospital stay. Truth be told, I was pretty sure they were gonna kindly laugh at me for coming in and send me home telling me I was fine. I read all of these amazing Momma's posting their babe's birth story. I feel a little bit of jealousy. I don't have a great birth story to tell. That's not what this is about, though. I don't regret anything. I don't dislike how Lincoln came into this world, because in fact, he came into this world. That is all that matters. That is all that matters.
I do wish I had read up on c-sections, procedures, complications, recovery, etc. I hadn't even read a single article or birth story about c-sections. I thought I was invincible. That's not going to happen to me. Not me. Well, it did. It's still all a blur, honestly. One minute we're driving to the ER, the next they're admitting me into a room, then we're waiting on lab results...next thing I know Wes is putting scrubs on. Wait. What?! Yeah,...this is happening! It seemed like such a long night, yet it was all a blur. One minute they're asking me if I could feel the cotton ball they were rubbing down my side [after my spinal] and the next they were rushing my baby away. It happened so quick. They didn't even tell me they were starting the incision [probably wise on their part, honestly]. I was just laying there [shaking like a mad woman] thinking they were prepping behind that big blue curtain and all of a sudden I hear "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"  Then there is recovery. Once I was released, we stayed a mile away at the Ronald McDonald house. After parking in the ramp there was a long walk to see my little Lincoln every day. For most of the first week, Wes insisted on pushing me in a wheelchair. That helped. It was hard to stand up straight - think "old Granny style" walk. Showering. That was special. Before being released they took the protective bandages off to make sure it was all clean and looked good. After that I placed a maxi-pad on top, letting my underwear hold it in place. They said I could let water run over my incision, but not wash it with soap yet. I was a big wuss and wouldn't even face the shower head. No way. That's an open wound! There weren't even staples...it as just glued together with a few [tiny] butterfly bandages.
If you have an emergency c-section [I assume this occurs for more than just HELLP Syndrome patients], you can't see your baby for the first 24 hours because you're on strict bed rest [and they're stuck in the NICU]!!!! That was a complete violation of my birth plan!! I wanted skin-to-skin, nursing...I didn't want him to leave my side. Complications. I had a set back a couple weeks after having Lincoln. My incision opened back up and needed packed. Twice a day. Every day. Quite the ordeal. Not cool. Not cool at all. I definitely didn't even know that was possible. The walk between where Lincoln was and where I had to go to get packed was long. It wasn't fun. In retrospect they think the main reason it opened back up is my platelet count was so low from having HELLP Syndrome that I wasn't able to scab up like I should have. Getting in and out of bed. Sleeping. Difficult. Getting [and staying] comfortable in bed. Difficult. I know I kind of got side tracked with my birth/recovery experience, but I hope someone takes something away from this. Even if this wasn't helpful or informative to you, know that you should look into c-sections regardless. It doesn't matter how healthy you think you are. How perfect your pregnancy is going. How perfect your last pregnancy was. I can happen to you, too!

7//Fears

"The thing(s) you're most afraid of"

I think I'll go a little more light-hearted today.

...spiders.

...mice.

...bats.

...heights (not heights so much as having to jump from heights).

...running out of peanut butter.

...serving my family disgusting food (and not realizing it).

...having another emergency c-section (and another 4 week NICU stay).

...the day I'm the mom with "that child" in the store.

I'm not feeling creative tonight. Sorry.

6//I am. . .

Ok, we all knew it was going to happen. We all knew I'd fall behind at some point. I'm a little disappointed it was this early on in the month, but...here we are.
Yesterday's prompt was " If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question, 'what do you do'?"
Six months ago I'd probably answer "Not a whole hell of a lot" to tell you the truth. While most days I don't feel like I accomplish much, am not productive, can't visibly see anything getting done...I like to think I still do a lot while I'm home. I like to think that I:
...show Lincoln how much I love him. ...help Lincoln grow and develop. ...show Wes how much I love him. ...show Lincoln how much I love Wes. It's important to me that he sees this - a healthy and loving marriage. ...tend to Lincoln's physical and emotional needs. ...make Lincoln laugh. ...give Lincoln lots of cuddles. ...never let Lincoln or Wes feel ignored. ...get a big genuine smile out of Lincoln in the morning when he wakes up. ...feel lucky and in love as he falls asleep in my arms at night. ...ask Wes how their day was. ...make good choices.
You see? In the last six months everything has changed. For the better. In another six months? Everything is going to change again. For the better. Though for the first months it may not seem that way. We'll see. ;)

5//Professing My Love

Today's prompt is to declare our love for a fellow blogger. I follow 70 blogs [I just counted]. That means each morning my Google Reader is full of great things for me to read. Granted, a good chunk of those blogs don't update daily and some barely ever. That being said, it was difficult for me to choose just one. I can't say that I have a favorite, but I think I look forwards to the posts from Becky that show up in my news feed the most.



I honestly can't think of a single post of hers that I've disliked. I read them all. Not only do I read all of her posts, but I read. all. of. her. posts. Every word. I don't skim. I thoroughly enjoy all of the things she has to say.

Becky is an amazing mother who works harder for her two munchkins than any Momma I've met known read heard of ... you get the point. She is dedicated to be a SAHM, so she works nights full time as an ICU RN. She barely gets any sleep and I don't know how she does it. She teaches her little girl, E, during school time and that girl is smart. Plus she just had little G, who is adorable, so her hands are full.

She takes great pictures [especially of her adorable kids], so her posts are not only enjoyable to read but pleasant to look at.

You should definitely take some time to hop over to her corner of the world and say hi. You'll definitely stay for a while, I guarantee it!

2//How To . . .

"educate us on something you know a lot about or are good at"

I debated between a [semi] serious topic and a sarcastic [yet true!] post today. The "serious" topic was going to be "coping with your newborn being in the NICU for the first 28 days of his life." Since today is my baby's 1/2 birthday [how did that happen?!], I didn't want to be all serious. 

So, I am going to educate you on how to...

waste hours on Pinterest!

First of all, if you haven't heard of or jumped on the Pinterest bandwagon, I'll wait for you to crawl out from under the rock you've been living. Just kidding, I won't wait.

First of all, why waste hours on Pinterest? Why not?! It's addicting.

You get to pin all of the recipes you're not going to make for your family, the crafts you're going to put off conquer, and the exercises you're going to ... well, actually that brings me to my first piece of advice!

Unfollow all of those stupid boards your friends have about health, fitness, etc. That really cuts down on the fun of Pinterest. Who wants to look at that? I focus on food and baby related pins, personally. I guess someone out there may legitimately enjoy health/fitness topics. Bah!

Next, take advantage of tabs to maximize your viewing capabilities.

See all of those tabs across the top there? Those are all pins I want to look at to see if they're pin-worthy. If you're unfamiliar with the tab concept, right click on the thing you want to open in a new tab and click "Open Link in New Tab."

It's all about maximizing the hours you're wasting on Pinterest, after all, right?!

Did you learn something? ;)

3//Talking Makes Me Uncomfortable

Talking makes me uncomfortable...yet I do it alllll the time!

I guess I should specify.

I get uncomfortable talking...
* to people higher in rank than me.
* to people I don't know.
* in front of people, especially crowds/classrooms.

Once I get to know you, though...? Watch out, cuz I'll never shut up! ;)

1//The Story of My Life. . . In ≤ 250 Words

 

Sooo...I've decided to link up with Jenni for the Blog Every Day in May challenge!

I've been wanting to blog more but always feel at a loss for topics. Jenni was kind enough to give us topics for each day, which I think will help tremendously! Looking through them I can already see where I'm going to struggle have to get creative!

 

So without further adieu, let's get started!!

 

 

I grew up (from birth to age 7) in a small town in Iowa that now has a whopping population of 264. We moved (to a town with a population now of 2,864 ... movin' on up!) after the disastrous flood of 1993. This was hard on me, as it meant I had to change schools [I'm thinking more on this later in the month, probably], but of course, I made friends and still keep in touch with a handful of them today.

 

Fast forward to after high school graduation. I went to the University of Iowa [initially] for pre-pharmacy. *insert thumbs down* Chemistry and I did not agree. I changed to Business and after two years there realized I was wasting money there while not really knowing what direction I wanted to go.

 

After leaving U of I, I moved away from home, got married, bought a house, and got divorced. I say that all in one sentence because that's all it deserves about how quickly it all happened.

 

In 2009 I finally met my soul mate and we eloped to Texas to get married July 1, 2011. On the way back home we drove through a lot of great locations including Graceland. On November 2, 2012 we became parents to Lincoln [6 weeks early]. Lincoln turns 6 months tomorrow [how did that happen?!] and I am 4.5 months pregnant with Baby Beck #2!!