Parenting. . .

Over the past few weeks I've seen some bloggers posting about their parenting style. I've been a mom for 6 months now (as of Thursday...How is that possible?!), but I have no idea what my "parenting style" is. I know I've already gone against some of the beliefs I held before having Lincoln (breast feeding vs formula and rocking to sleep vs letting him learn to soothe himself, for example). I also know that I don't beat myself up over those things because at the end of the day I have a healthy, happy, adorable, perfect son whom I love with everything I am and would do anything for.

Do you know what I wasn't warned about nor remember reading in all the Mommy blogs I stalked? The worry (or guilt...?) I would constantly have; the fear. The worry that I'm not doing enough or doing well enough. If I'm not worrying about if I'm doing enough to help Lincoln grow and learn I'm feeling like a failure of a wife (as I look around the messy house with all I should do but continue to sit on my behind). I know Lincoln is a preemie and is expected to still be catching up, but I still worry that I'm not doing enough.

I also can't stand people making comments that make me sound like I'm not a good enough mom or telling me what I should do. Maybe I'm overly sensitive (on this subject - my son - I probably am) and they're truly just making innocent comments, but I don't think that's always the case. It'd be easy for me to blame this sensitivity on being pregnant, but I'm pretty sure that's not it. I'm female. Plus I'm a mom now, which amplifies that sensitivity greatly. I've always been pretty sensitive, but now when it comes to my son I'm crazy sensitive. I know I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, but I hate to think anyone would think for a second that I would do anything to put my son in danger...to not do the very best possible for him.

I know that the main reason the comments bother me so much is because it triggers that worry/guilt/fear I talked about. Believe me, anything anyone says...I've already worried about it myself, most likely. I question myself enough that it just hits a nerve when other people make me do it more.

This was basically a vent, sorry, but that's what this space is here for: anything I want.

I will leave you with a picture of my punkin...waking up from a cat nap and hiding himself.